


Simply, Love

by mythoughtsaretroubled



Category: Haven (TV)
Genre: Everyone Is Alive, F/M, duke is bi in this and talks about being in love with audrey and nathan, no one dies, this is duke's thoughts on their relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-02-23 11:02:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23977021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mythoughtsaretroubled/pseuds/mythoughtsaretroubled
Summary: Duke and how his relationship with Jennifer developed and all of his feelings.
Relationships: Duke Crocker/Jennifer Mason (Haven)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 16





	Simply, Love

**Author's Note:**

> idk where this came from but it lines up with canon (I think) except alternate ending implied cause Jennifer doesn't die. cause I make the rules here XD

Duke didn't think he could fall in love again after Audrey and Nathan broke his heart. It wasn't a clean break either because they both loved about him, they just . . . Loved each other more. That rejection sat in him. And he still went after Audrey when Nathan asked. Because he would do anything for either of them.

But then Jennifer showed up and just completely threw him off. It wasn't love at first sight. He couldn't describe it. But he knew he could trust her, instinctively.

There was something so open and honest about her. Everyone Duke met always had some agenda but she didn't. She wanted answers about her mind. And she helped him. Because he said he would help her. That kind of promise was unbreakable.

"So you and Audrey and Nathan," Jennifer said one day, out of the blue. "What's that all about?"

Duke's mouth went dry. How could he explain that two people held his heart and broke it so it was in four pieces and none were in his body? How the rejection haunted him every minute of every day but he still missed them. The relief he felt when he saw Nathan, the panic he felt when Audrey was still gone, the despair he felt knowing Nathan would die. He was choking every day.

"Nathan was my first love. I don't think I ever got over him. And then I met Audrey and I fell in love with her too. And neither of them wanted me, not like that." He put his face in his hands. "I'm their back up. I think they love me, but not like I love them."

He heard Jennifer slide out of her seat and pat over to him. She wrapped her arms around him, so tiny and yet he felt safe, safer than he ever had. Had he ever been held in such a way? One that was all about giving and not about receiving?

Evi had had him, but they were an adventure, doomed for a tragic ending. They had never been about stability, had never even considered building a home together.

But Jennifer. He didn't want to fall in love again, he wasn't going to fall in love again. She was going to break his heart again, too. It was inevitable. Everyone always did.

He pulled away. "I need to go to sleep." He tried to play off his heartbreak. "Have to get my beauty sleep."

She didn't laugh. "I'm here if you need me." She reached for his hand and gently squeezed it and then left to go upstairs.

She was too good for him, just like Nathan, just like Audrey. She was kind and brave and loyal and Duke? Duke was a crook. And a murderer.

But he couldn't stop thinking about how she held him, her face buried in his back, her arms tight around his test, her slow breath against his.

The next night he asked her if she had ever been in love.

She wrinkled her nose. "I thought I had, a few times. But they left so easily and I never lingered on them much. So I don't know if it was love. I think I was just lonely. And they were there."

He nodded. Most of his relationships were based on sex. That's how he and Nathan started, two lonely teenagers desperate to be seen and touched. That had become love. But the others. .. he just loved the intimacy, how he could pretend for a moment that they would last, that they were more than just a few nights strung together. Like they didn't use him.

He told Jennifer, after a drink to loosen his tongue. Her face was tilted down and she wiped her eyes.

"Jen, hey, why are you crying?" He came over to her, hovering, not quite sure how to comfort her.

"I'm not," her voice thick with tears. "I'm just drunk."

"Jen-" But she was out the door before he could say anything more.

He stood there, confused. Was she crying for him?

Duke felt tears in his eyes and quickly wiped them away.

She didn't look at him differently when she learned about his trouble. How he was built to be a killer. She still stood close to him, chattering away, comforting him in all her ramblings. Just hearing her voice made him relax.

But this wasn't love. There was no falling, no dramtic, heart dropping moments. He never felt unsteady around her, in fact he felt stable when he held her hand.

He tried to set her up with Dwight. They would be perfect together. He was so calm, she was so bubbly. He would cool her down, she would make him smile. He had them sit together at the Grey Gull, gently excusing himself so they could spend the night together. And all night as he watched them, his chest felt tight and he couldn't eat.

But it wasn't love, he reminded himself. These weren't the waves of Audrey or the fireworks of Nathan. This was just an extreme fondness. He was just protective and who better to protect her than Dwight.

"Why'd you leave last night?" Jen sounded confused. "We missed you. We don't really know each other very well, it was kind of awkward."

"It's not like we know each other well." He sounded cruel even in his own ears.

Jennifer drew in a sharp breath. "That was uncalled for. And mean. Come see me when you want to apologize and actually talk about your feelings." She marched out and slammed the door behind her.

He caved not even 15 minutes later.

He stood in her doorway. "I'm sorry. I was just having a long night." He took a deep breath. "And we do know each other. Maybe not all the details, but we are in this together."

She smiled up at him and his breath caught because she was the most beautiful person he had ever seen.

He should have known, he was always going to love her.

He walked into love with her. How could he think she would break his heart, this woman who stood by his side, no matter what. Who could believe in him when she couldn't believe in herself. Who he believed in when he couldn't believe in himself.

And then that punk stole their first kiss. He remembered kissing her, how she leaned into him, how her body fit into his, and he couldn't cut her face and run his hands through her hair and he wanted to scream. She should be worshiped like a queen and instead some teenage boy is taking his body to manipulate her. 

But Audrey was back but she was Lexie and Jennifer. . . she seemed a little jealous. But his feelings for Audrey had changed. And he was still in love with Audrey and Nathan but it didn't hurt anymore. He wasn't yearning for them. Because he had someone who could be his home. He wanted to choose Jennifer first. He could love more than one person. But he could choose Jennifer. 

But when he went to tell her, to choose her, his brother had a knife to her throat and could barely think. All he knew was he needed to protect her, so she could stay safe. But his brother made him a killer. 

She deserved better, so he pushed her away. She couldn't be with a murderer. It was for her own good. He should have known it would end before it began. And as much as he wanted Jennifer, he wanted her to be happy most of all. Safe and sound. Away from the chaos of Haven. 

But he should have known better than try and make a choice for her. 

And when he saw her in his boat, talking to herself, he finally let himself kiss her and they melted into each other. She was soft and enthusiastic and she fit perfectly in his arms. 

It was crazy to him how someone so tiny could be his anchor, keep him steady but she did, every day proving how strong she was. 

The next morning he wok her up by kissing her shoulder. "Do you want to get out of here," he leaned down to whisper in her ear. 

"Mmmmm, I think we can stay in bed a bit longer." She leaned over to kiss him and his heart swelled. 

"No, I mean Haven here. Sail the world. You could find a newspaper to correspond to or make a travel blog. We could stop dealing with all this death and destruction. Just the two of us, against the world." 

"Really?" She tilted her head up to meet his eyes. 

"Really." 

She grinned. "You know we will end up back here." 

"Maybe. But I thought we could try Italy first." 

"That sounds perfect."

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are always appreciated!!!


End file.
